Two Degrees Later: Why I'm choosing to live in a trailer on my parent's drive-way over taking a job

How I went from attending a prestigious graduate business school to scoring a sick Boston fellowship (with the company of my dreams) where I was living on a futon in a rat-infested loft with two dudes above a rock concert venue, but ended up moving into 1970's trailer on my parent's driveway to pursue a business idea.

They say 10 months would fly by. I believed them. However, I didn't believe I'd have the vast experiences, emotions, living, opportunities, learning and relationships in that time period. From staying in the on-campus dorms to my last day sleeping on my couch…what has taken place over the course of theses 10 months has been a ride where I've grown in ways I never anticipated or sought. They also say you will be employed. I also believed them.

After some time to reflect on what took place over these 10 months at grad school - where I am now, where I was then, where I thought I would and what actually happened, after cherishing the special relationships fostered and unique souls who have forever impacted me...leaving this wonderful place and time in my life was bittersweet.

It's a truly special feeling to move on to a new adventure from a place and time in life that makes it so hard to leave. To drive away with a heart so full, knowing that you did it right, that you are heading in the direction that you've wanted, and seeing your friends head down the paths that is best for them is all for which I could have asked.

Monday I graduated with closure in every way I could asked - with friends who are following what they love, while I get to venture off on the path I'd always desired.

Yet, there was a moment where I almost dropped out.

It was never because I didn't believe in the program (disclosure: WFU was amazing and if you are ever interested in a jam-packed year of learning, hit me up to talk) or felt like I didn't need this knowledge - rather it was 100% me...I was so damn eager to get my hands dirty and learn through taking action right at that second. When entering grad school, my goal was to gain the business acumen that would allow me to start a business. I quickly learned, that nobody has the answer to that. While I surely gained business acumen, I also gained much more than what I hoped for - unique experiences that I didn't realize would make such a difference.

In January I stopped focusing on 'getting a job' and focused on the reason I went to Wake in the first place - to learn and apply. Everything changed. I had ideas again, I created, I was involved in the community, I had overwhelming support from the university, and I was presented with opportunities and experiences that gave me energy. 

I never needed a piece of paper to validate myself and what I am capable of accomplishing (and no one should), however the people and experiences provided a sense of strength and newfound knowledge that by myself I would have never gathered. It's a blessing that it's so hard to leave, because that means I did it right. It took exploring those areas of discomfort, testing the waters, diving into the fields and conversing on levels beyond my realm of experience or interest. I struggled, I learned, I then ran with it.

In March I took that incredible trip to Boston where I hoped to one day work for the company of my dreams. I got the Fellowship, I was going to apply my new skills while improving the food system. I was going to live in Boston on a futon with two dudes in a rat-infested apartment over a rock-venue ..and I couldn't have been more stoked.

Then, two weeks ago, with deep regret..the company informed us that they would be closing their doors.

That was the final tipping point - between the cancellation of my fellowship and job rejection after rejection..at some point it's one of those things that you can't help but just laugh in amazement at how I was getting absolutely nowhere. If I wanted anything to happened, I was going to need to create the experience I wanted where I could apply everything I've learned in school while bringing my ideas to life. 

I committed to longer investing my energy into convincing someone of my value and fitting their need - my energy was much better spent just making shit happen. I had an idea I'd been tinkering with since the winter and at there was no other option to make it happen. As if I was waiting for that invitation to do it - I felt like the closing of my next job was that.

The last few weeks of school were been spent heavily researching, meeting, learning and creating this. While most people were winding down, accepting their jobs and taking vacations and stuff...I was just getting picking up speed.

NOW WHAT: This will be something I'll be rolling out these next couple weeks however I had to share a taste (hint).

As my roommate constantly reminded me these past couple weeks - I was never going to accept a job (…if only I knew that too, it would have been the year much less stressful). So maybe this is what you expected (it wasn't really for me).

But here's the plan….

Yes, I'm heading back to Northern VA, the place I vowed to never return. However, ...it's for business opportunities where I believe I can make the greatest positive impact and learn the most.

Yes, I'm heading back to my home, the place I vowed to never sleep another night. However, …I'll be living in a trailer in my driveway (I get to live out my dream of staying in a tiny home). So that doesn't count. 

I'm giving myself 3 months to do everything I love - learn from people, implement and test ideas, create, train, work hard, absorb in knowledge, challenge myself, follow a strict daily routine and only do the "hell *@^#^ yes".

Three months.

I'll see where it takes me. If I don't do this, if I don't scratch this itch, I'll always wish I did. The worst that happens - I get a job after the summer. However right now, this is the kind of shit that I look forward to - grinding out on business ideas, making shit happen and being healthy AF.

This is the shit that makes me so excited that I can't sleep at night because I'm shaking in my bed ...the type of work where I can't help but wake up extra early to get after the day. It's a life full of energy, excitement, challenges.. and I absolutely thrive.

There's a time and a place for these types of projects, and it comes with it's uncertainty but I'm absolutely embracing it. Bring it on.

20 years of school was great, but right now I'm eager to get after what I've always wanted to do.

ap

Counseling from Children, The Science of Seasonal Eating, Business Movement 101 and Weekly Lesson One-Liners

 

 

Mind

"There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading to the same place, so it doesn't matter which path you take. The only person wasting time is the one who runs around the mountain, telling everyone his or her path is wrong" - Hindu Proverb

The pressure of providing content, staying connected and actively scrolling through social media for enjoyment is real. It's pretty pathetic this is the challenge our generation faces on a daily basis.

When you are constantly posting (or keeping busy with the posts of others), you aren't present in what you are doing. I love to share experiences, and perhaps offer something that I am experiencing that will be helpful to someone else...but it's also important to recognize that being present in your own life is more important than that. 

I'm finding that balance. 

*Read this excellent article inspiring continuing that topic* It's absurd this is actually a problem faced these days but nonetheless it can't ignore that. It's a longer read but definitely eyeopening! 

The real content: A couple messages gather around this theme of paths (whether it's in what you do each day, how you choose to live your life, or in work)

The paradox of opportunities: One of greatest beauties of life derives from the vast amount of possibilities and boundless directions. It's this same beauty that also bears one of life's greatest challenges. While so free, we can become overwhelmingly restricted...as if there's a perfect path to be chosen. In business terms, "opportunity loss". Some struggle with finding something to do and where to work ...a difficult decision nonetheless...however for myself, it's choosing between everything I want to do. I don't know if it's any better but it's an ambitious problem to have and keeps me hungry and on my toes.

The MA program fills our days with opportunities for networking, learning and career advancement. Lunches with corporate executives, board of directors and professionals (which are all super awesome!) however it was the counseling from a 10 year-old that I want to share. 

At last Friday's Wake Soccer game, we made friends with some kids (clearly I'm winning for grad school social activities). Who I really was talking to was myself, 12 years ago - hyper, full of energy, understanding of others, confident, bold, and dreaming. 

My teammate had her dog (in a dress)...so like every other person...I figured these young girls were going to stop by, pet the dog, and leave. Like most people.

..the rest of the soccer game was spent having all kinds of conversations ranging from school to life plans with elementary schoolers. 

When kids ask you what you want to do with your life...there's this sense that you need to over-simplify things so they understand...and here's how I found myself explaining what I wanted: "I want to be moving around where people are fun and doing crazy things, I want to create solutions that change the world, and lead people toward a healthier and more improved life through health and food"

And here's where 10 y/o me comes in - she starts doing the "twitchy jumpy thing" as she excitedly exclaims that she holds the answer. She so confidently tells me I need to be a counselor, that I love helping people, that I need to own a healthy store where I have solutions for people revolving around food and exercise.

(And so we began bouncing and talking about farmers markets and haircuts and essential oils - so innocently and unconcerned with how we just picked up a completely new conversation and never finished the other. That's also how I knew it was me)

It's funny how I spend hours with all these career experts - asking them where I should go, what I should do. Yet I meet this 5th grader at a soccer game and she had the answers. The answer being that we each have it inside of us - and that there are many paths to get there. Her understanding and genuine energy was so pure and unpolluted by the outside influences, ego, and norms that society inadvertently places on us. We go out searching for all these answers, waiting for someone to confidently send us in a direction and validate that our choice is the best one - yet, kids - with their unbrainwashed wonder, clear lens for dreaming, and invincible sense of possibilities - are often the greatest reminders of what we really want to do. 

Meals

What's in season?

• Apples, cabbage, tomatoes, collards, cucumbers, green peas, herbs, corn, kale, lettuce, 'shrooms, bok choy, blackberries, pumpkin, raspberries, peas, spinach, sprite melons, sweet potatoes, turnips, zucchini, beets!
• RIGHT NOW..is the peak of the best of the best selection...this summer to fall transition is the only time of year where you'll ever have such a wide variety

Is it important to eat certain foods during specific times of the year? 

There's a whole area of study stemming from the understanding on what to eat and when but here's what you need to know...

• Fruit's and veggie's beautiful spectrum of visual appeal come from their pigments (like our skin colors). Just like we have shades, so do plants. Chlorophyll (greens), Flavonoids (blue, red, cream), and Carotenoids (orange/yellow). Each are special in their own way, providing unique and different nutritional benefits (hence, why we are told to "eat a rainbow" b/c of the diverse essential vits+mins and nutrients necessary from all of them)
• Carotenoids (organge/yellows) bring this to the table: Vit C, Beta-carotene, Vit A, Potassium, Lycopene, and Antioxidants
• We are creatures of habit. We get in routines and purchase the same foods every week. Technology has enabled us to eat whatever we want, whenever we want. However the combinations of vits+mins and nutrients that our body craves for optimal functioning constantly change throughout the year.   
• Eating seasonally: It tastes better, it's cheaper, it's sustainable..even nutritional analyses have shown significant antioxidant content differences (freshly harvested, rotated...more bioavailable nutrients)..combat flu season with a simple coordination of your diet. 
• Also next time your fake tan goes wrong and you'll look like this - just say you over did it on the fall vege's carotenoids

Moves 

Ironically, it's the fitness junkies who can be the most sedentary. A 3 hour workout does not give you a free pass to sit all day. Being that I'm in class from 8am-5pm, I'm experiencing this corporate-like culture. I experienced this, gained perspective, and am now changing it. So I left off last time switching things up: had an epiphany, made some changes. Here are the few major ways to inject a bit more movement, improve your level of work, and elevate your well-being: 

• Combat the movement discouraging clothes - so long heels, restrictive skirts and even those damn tote bags. 
• Biking to school - Active commuting gives a major boost to psychological well-being (school or work, this is important for us all), including happiness and ability to concentrate. Well-being is found to be higher for people commuting by active travel like walking or public transport compared to driving (and obviously the physical benefits follow, as well as increased creativity)
• Sitting on the floor - Chairs are a luxury and not doing us any good ...instead of going into depth on this, you can follow the link to read more. 
• Cut the Commute? - I recently came across this....startling (but not surprising) that the simple act of community is killin' us. Cutting you commute is equal to the equivalent of making $40,000 more in yearly salary! Right now I am paying that much...so I'm pretending that by walking/biking to school they balance each other out :) (I'm not even considering what it would be if I was actually commuting ..that's a whole other story...)

More

For the sake of entertainment, wonder and to reassure you that there is never a dull moment - my attempt to recap the past three weeks through the wisdom of one-liners: 

-When attending a career fair: professional frat party - packed, sweaty and thirsty for conversation...yet crucial for networking

-When at a Wake Saturday football game: proof of what the power of free food/drinks and Harambe can do

-When attending your professor's husband's concert: if there is no divide between the band and audience, it's acceptable to go on stage

-When recovering from an unfortunate butt dial: nothing...just never take your phone into the bathroom

-When surviving your first financial case competition: 48 hours of Finance requires 96 hours of recovery...never underestimate the importance for a platform of creativity 

-When competing in grad school field day: competitiveness and sun-burn susceptibility doesn't change with age 

make it a great week! - ap

Christmas in July, Grad(e) School, and a New Type of Bar(re)

MEALS

For 7 days I've been anxiously awaiting the arrival of (well at least what hopefully would be) something very special to me. What I received was far beyond my expectations.

It all begin when a classmate filled me in on her latest discovery...she immediately messaged me..knowing that I too would share her excitement.

For $20 Lowes Food compiles the regions best of the best goodies from the farmers into a crate.

Introducing - The Carolina Crate.

I can promise what I received was valued far more than $20 worth of food (and I always make sure I'm getting my money's worth)...never mind my effervescent state that even 24 hours post-opening has not dulled the slightest. 

So why am I so excited? I realize how ridiculous this is. And that most people would rather just have a meal delivered. And they would probably be just as happy.

What I love about this is how it combines everything I love - a surprise of local produce that I'm forced to work with and transform into a masterpiece. If it were up to me I would just stick to the same ol' but this forces me to put my creativity to the test using minimal ingredients.

There were so many directions I could go with this but I knew I wanted this week's dish to have a summer flare. 

The final masterpiece:

A lively summery salad w/ roasted roots.

In with Quinoa went the basics (Evoo, S+P) w/ squeezed Lemon and chopped dill to add some dat zest. Chickpeas roasted to perfection in Evoo ( simple but key). The refreshing Cucumber-dill dressing was the magic touch (pureed a seeded Cuc with Evoo, Red Vinegar, Dill, S+P and squeezed Lemon). Enjoyed over a bed of the fresh Green Kale.

Next were the magic roasted veggies.The crock pot came in clutch letting me cook, tan and swim all at once. Just put em 'Taters,  Eggplant, Carrots, Green Beans, Beets, and Tomatoes in and let it do it's thing. I was diggin' the root veggies included in this week's present..but in a "a Summer-y alive and easy zest" type of way...not a "Fall savory warmth and comfort". I needed to inject some lightness...and what better way than making use of the abundance of Cucs and some Lemon and Dill.This dish had the summer warmth without the comfort of Fall. 

The coolest part? My friend got the same box. With the same ingredients, Kristen and I took 2 totally different routes. She wanted to try multiple different meals this week (now I'm wishing I did the same!) and went with a more comforting Curry Stew with her first meal. 

Tomorrow we are each bringing our dishes for lunch and trading (cue the excited clap). Sort of like elementary school lunch all over again  (here's a formal apology for everyone's food I ate throughout elementary and middle school and my extensive/expensive appetite). 

MIND

Speaking of elementary school...it's only fitting I'm now trading at lunch too.

If I could sum up my first week of class in two words:

Grade School

This week I had a grown up version of picture day (it's no different than how you remember it). Not only did I take my picture but I also had to pronounce my name which was even more unnatural than this photo...hard to imagine, I know.

I've been blessed with not only a name tag to wear, but one to bring every day to class to put in front of my desk. Much fancier, definitely an upgrade from Kindergarten, but I can't doodle on it this time (except for the message I wrote on the back saying "DONT FORGET ME"....in hopes that I won't lose it for the fourth time this week. 

Packed lunches, assigned seats, team bonding activities.

Basically this whole week has been a bundle of new faces, food, excitement, and knowledge - all the best parts of being a kid in one. Funny how I'm here going to school more, you know..suppose to be 'adulting'.. yet I feel like I'm only reliving the greatest parts of my childhood. I kind of like it. I still pack a lunch twice the size of anyone else, trade food, draw on my name tag,  love love love working with my team, and ask too many questions - so far not much as changed. 

MOVEs

It's hard to top that. But I've been experimenting with new forms of exercise as well. If you don't care about Pure Barre, spare yourself my overly in-depth analysis and scroll on. 

Two weeks ago Hayley and I made the decision to test out Pure Barre for 30 days. I use 'test out' lightly...it's more like if we were allowed to do two-a-days we would be there three. Basically I'm determined to get every penny out of this and form a valid opinion by completely Barre-ing it up - going to every class, instructor and immersing in the community. 

I was very skeptical. I think as an exercise scientist it's in my nature to be overly critical of workouts, cognizant of trends and keen to form and proper technique.

I had the choice to sign up with a $99 a month or a $25 class (+ $13 socks)…I figured I might as well just pay $100 and get my money's worth and learn to love it.

All I did was think.

I thought about the music. Which they rocked (except for when Demi Lovato came on twice and I almost had to leave).

I thought about the people. Every single person had this unreal amount of welcoming energy and bubbly fun pep for 6am. Early morning classes you never know what you will get in terms of energy but damn I admired their positive attitude and exuberance!

I thought about the exercises. We used a band strapped to the bar but all I could think of was all the other possibilities for future classes that we could be doing with the one band. 

Myself, what I'm doing, what the class is working on, corrections, the beat, style, people, technique, flow...the state of awareness was quite intense. 

Slowly I'm becoming incredibly fond of Pure Barre. Not in some fad ballet transformation way but for the application to my day. It awakens and activates the tiny and necessary muscles for functional "work form" (aka sitting all day).

As I am no longer bouncing, striding and leaping my way through the day, proper posture is much needed and often compromised after heavy lifts that leave me hunched. Barre wakes up the functional muscles - allowing carryover into the day. 

Some say it's this cross between Yoga and Pilates with ballet spunk - I consider Barre intensive and necessary pre-hab accountability. Sort of like a full body physical therapy session. 

Most the women in the class are so aesthetically perfect with their form that Hayley and I marvel through the mirrors attempting to mimic their movements but just look like well….fish out of water. 

So no it's not a sweat sesh and sure anyone can do a billion reps and it's totally a trend AND I'm paying for prehab BUT I'm totally loving it now, it keeps me from getting injured and I feel it would be an excellent compliment to someone with an intense workout regimen who could use some cross training. (Swimmers especially).

MORE

And these certainly can't go without mentioning: 

Hayley and I spontaneously attending the Charlotte vs Swansi soccer game Wednesday after class (including our "rage bus" ride, traffic bonding, and my first Charlotte adventure).

And I (almost) went to Vegas! The weekly Wednesday phone call with the Carl's was delayed until Friday night...little did Camo know it was because Carly would be surprising her in Vegas for her birthday. I kinda went..did the best I could and made my appearance via video but basically experienced Vegas.